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| Oh boy it's been awhile since I posted here, haha. I need to update more often.
Well, looks like I am moving, I should be out of the hell known as Ohio by the end of the month and in the sunshine state of Florida before my birthday. I am worried and excited about the move. Part of me wants to go back to TN, its where I feel I belong but I am also excited about the fresh start in Florida too. I think I will like it once I get there but this getting ready to move shit sucks.
Then there is the fact that my birthday is coming up. I refuse to turn 30 so I have decided I will drop a year every year until I hit 25 again and then never have another birthday. Sounds like plan to me :D | |
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| Went to my doctor today, No one would go with me and I didn't want to go alone. But I ended up having to anyway, which made me pretty upset.
I had even more blood work and they took the heart monitor off and kept it. Results from that tomorrow I guess....something to look forward to.
My doctor is fairly certain I have hemochromatosis. I have to wait for this next round of blood tests to see for sure but he said he was pretty sure I do.
That pretty much means I have to much Iron in my blood, the good news is he is certain if I do have it, it hasn't caused liver damage. Bad news is I have to have blood drawn every week if I do have it....and I hate being stuck.
- Mood:moody
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| My husband finally got home around 11pm last night after making his statement. I have no idea why that has to take so long. I don't know what's going to happen between us yet but I have more hope now than before.
Yesterday was rough but my guardian angel stood by me all day and night and I can never repay that....
Is it to early to feel better? I hope not...I think I need a nap... - Mood:tired
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| I still don't know where my husband is....
This is starting to really bother me....I am trapped here because my car is dead and he has his so I have no way to even go look for him any where...not like I know where to look anyway...
- Mood:nervous
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| OK, I am trying to remain calm....My sisters ex bf came over this morning, and he started a fight with my husband, my husband beat him senseless, I tried to stop it and somehow got a bloody nose out of it.
The neighbors called the police and before they could get here, both my husband left and Jason left. And I don't know where my husband went. This is just great....one good thing after the next....as far as I know he won't be arrested, Jason jumped on him first...so it was self defense but I was the only one here when the police arrived. So I had to give the statemnt and answer all the shit questions....I am not doing well here...
More to come when I find out where my husband is.... - Mood:scared
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| Wow.....What a fucking mess I make of everything. I guess my husband is right. I am a constant screw up, isn't that just lovely. I wish just once I didn't ruin things....every single time I am even a little happy, I fuck it up.
Go me....
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| There is so much going on in my life right now, that I don't know where to start to even try to get things straight. I can't even begin to get a handle on things yet. Maybe a good night's sleep would help but that is out of the question it seems. In no particular order are
My Husband: He and I are so out of touch anymore, we hardly ever talk and we used to be so close. I think we take each other for granted now.
My Son: He is a special needs child. He is ADHD and it's hard on me to keep up with him. I love him to death but he is wearing me out. Plus I get no help from him.
My sister: She broke up with her boyfriend recently and she is still very emotional, which hasn't helped my state of mind because I worry about her. She is a lot younger than I am and has lived with me for almost 10 years, it's like having a daughter.
Relationship problems: I am not going to go deep into them but I really need to start getting this worked out. I need to figure out where I am going with this, if anywhere.
I also need to think long and hard on what I want and who I am. At almost 30, you would think I would have had this figured out long ago. But old questions resurfaced and I don't have answers yet.
There is only one thing in my life that is going well and I keep expecting that to go just like everything else, I don't know when or where it will go wrong, but if it follows course like everything else has in my life it will.
Enough of my whining for now....
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| Even though I am still avoiding certain situations, a main one has worked itself out that is going to allow me to deal with life in general. For the first time in awhile I am having a good day, one that I don't want to end.
I wonder if there is going to be a price to pay for being happy..... | |
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| I told a good friend some thing about myself today, things from my past and I will repeat it all again tomorrow to another very good friend and I am worried about how she will take it, even though I know I shouldn't. To bad that doesn't change the fact.
I wish it was just over with so I knew, this is harder than actually talking about it. I guess I will find out soon enough. | |
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| where I live. I wish we were back in Tennessee. No one here wants to hear what I have to say about it but I don't like it here. Ohio sucks! | |
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hwinn7478's journal
